Rose and The human Doctor
by frankiekristine13
Summary: Rose's feelings for the Human Doctor, once the TARDIS dissapears.


He grabbed my hand. I let go. We were standing on Bad wolf bay, and the TARDIS had just left, Doctor included.

'I can't' I announced.' You're not him.' I stated it simply, clearly. There couldn't be any misunderstandings. My Doctor left me.

'But' came the words from his lips. Lips I'd once admired. 'But what about me?'

'What about you?' I argued, fiercely. I knew it wasn't his fault but I was grieving.

'He's gone, Rose, he's gone, but I'm still here. I stayed. Isn't that good enough for you?'

I didn't even hesitate my answer. 'No, it's not. He's out there. He needs me and he's gone' I was being insensitive, unreasonable. To make things worse, I didn't care.

'I need you.'

Guilt clouded my mind as he said it, it came out so helplessly. So without hope. Quiet and true.

'Come on, sweetheart.' Mum piped in. I'd forgotten she was still there. 'Let's get you home' she looked at The Doctor or whatever he was and said 'You too, Doctor. You're gonna need a place to stay' we walked. He followed. It was silent.

We walked to the train station and got our tickets, there was one leaving in an hour for London. It was nearly lunchtime, so we grabbed a sandwich and a drink from the cafe and off we went. I sat in between mum and 'Doctor' on the train. Mum was getting into her heat magazine, one of her favourites for years, I couldn't stand gossip magazines, always bitching about people's weights or relationships, and I never really understood the appeal to read one. So me and 'The Doctor' sat down, silent. I looked over at him, He was already looking at me, analysing my features.

'So, what are you gonna do? What about a name mean, you're not The Doctor, so...'

'Call me John Smith'

'John Smith? The name he uses? Why?' it hurt me to remember. John Smith was _his_ name but to be honest, I was pretty surprised he didn't choose the name 'Alonso.' That would have been so The Doctor.

'Why not, I quite like it. I thought... using this name would...'

'Would what?'

'That you would feel more comfortable. With me' he whispered shyly. It was comforting, I'll admit but there was something off about him, must have been the part he'd 'inherited' from Donna, I suppose. The human part. The real Doctor always seemed so human to me before, but now I can see, he was so much more than that.

'Rose' he said, in The Doctor's voice, and he touched my hand, on the arm rest between us.

'Doctor?' I replied before thinking, before realising. I saw John's face drop. I could see in his eyes that he knew. He knew he would never be able to live up to The Doctor. 'I'm sorry.'

John nodded, but didn't pull his hand away from mine. I was confused that I was glad it was still there. Like The Doctor had said, so long ago, sometimes you just need a hand to hold.

I smiled at john, trying to lighten the mood, I mean, John is all I have left, I couldn't lose him too, I wasn't mad at John anymore, like he said, he was the one who stayed. How dare The Doctor just leave me like we were nothing? Like the years we spent together didn't mean anything. I had to ask, because if this John had The Doctors memories, he would know. 'Why did he leave me, John?' I stuttered as John looked over to me with those overwhelming brown eyes, eyes I knew as well as the back of my own hand, probably more.

John leant over towards me, so I could see each of his freckles clearly. 'He didn't want to leave you. He knew you deserved better.'

'But he made it look so easy' I offered. 'He knew I'd want to come with him'

'He wanted you to have a normal life, Rose, don't you see?'

'Fuck normal lives.' I cursed 'What's so great about a normal life?'

'This.' John said, simply, placing his right hand on my neck, pulling my face closer to his, face leaning into mine. I shut my eyes, instinctively. I could feel has warm breath on my face, then lips placed softly on mine. I pressed mine harder onto his. It felt good.

Afterwards, my heart was pounding and I was chasing my breath. Wow, I thought 'I've never been kissed like that before' I smiled, and grabbed John's hand from my neck, but didn't let go.

'I love you' he said. The second time I'd heard the words from his lips. John was freer with how he felt than The Doctor. The Doctor always kept things bottled up, kept himself on a tight leash for his desires, so much so that you could barely see he had any, but sometimes I could see the lust he had for me in his eyes, a spark of lust in our much too placid friendship.

'I love you, too' I said, and I actually meant it.

The train announcement declared this was our stop, so we got out and caught the nearest taxi home. We spent the whole journey hand in hand, smiling. Mum didn't say a word, I guess she could just see I was happy. Much better in comparison to the last time The Doctor left. It was getting late, and I was getting tired. I pulled John with me and gave John the pyjama's I'd given The Doctor after he's first regenerated into his tenth form.

We'd settled to bed, John pulling me close in my double bad, arms around me. He gave me a kiss, a breathtaking, magical kiss and stroked my hair.

'Goodnight, Rose'

We will just have to see where this goes, for now I will sleep in John's arms, because John loves me, and because this may be the best thing I can have to The Doctor. That it might just make me happy to live my life with someone who can live theirs with me

'Goodnight John'


End file.
